Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Smile: Gods leading

He stood ridged, his eyes welling up with tears. Blond hair, tan skin slightly sun burnt, a young guy in his late twenties, my customer sure didn’t fit the profile for dysfunctional. I wondered….. what was the cause behind his tears? Seeing my puzzlement glance he opened his mouth and spoke. I excepted Jesus into my heart yesterday. I ummmm just wanted you to know. Ok? His voice sounded tight. I could barely keep shock from entering my expression, Are you serious?. Yes I’m serious Ashley. He countered, it’s… I mean…… God’s love …… well ….his words continued faltering, until silence hung suspended between us. How often had I prayed he would except Jesus? How many times had we argued about God? More than I could count. A smile breathed on my lips. My customer Jim grinned ineptly back at me, before abruptly darting outside the bank’s glass door.

God chuckles; he watches me lightly touch salvation's beams, I'm stunned by the shiver i encounter from my caress. What if the opportunity to meet Jim hadn't taken place ? What then? Would Grace orchestrate someone else to take my place? Who knows? I ponder Gods leading...and smile

leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go but ought to be." -- Rosalynn Smith Carter

Isaiah 43:16 And I will bring the blind by a way that they know not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known. I will make darkness into light before them and make uneven places into a plain. These thing I have determined to do [ for them]; I will not leave them forsaken.

Thursday, October 11, 2007


Although I don’t remember his name… I do recall dark, wild un- kept hair, and a face permanently stained from playing in the dirt. His brown eyes stared, as he whispered.. I like you, will you be my girlfriend? Boyfriends and Girfriends were a new phenomena in first grade but according to my parents Only grown ups, should have real relationships. Shocked by this strange boy. I found myself blurting the first thought that came to mind. If you like me , then prove it. He didnt replied back but instead reached down to grab a pebble near his shoe placing it in his mouth, he then swallowed. What kind of boy would eat rocks? Composure crumbling I started walking away. . His voice called after me, Hey. Wait, I just swallowed that rock for you. Why don’t you want to be my girlfriend? Silence was the reply I gave. What could i say?

How often do you and I deny passion, in an attempt to avoid pain? All the while knowing our dreams, those we love, and the directions were given comes from swallowing rocks. Its here that we are proven before God......transforming pain into.... passion

To love at all is to be vulnerable. To love anything your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one. Not even an animal. Wrap it carefully with hobbies and luxuries, avoid all entenglements and keep it safe in the casket of your selfishness . But in the casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable
~ C.S. Lewis