Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Surprise:love love love

Déjà vu, just like old times,” Mindy smirks, “except.. …. were in Texas SURPRISE” her flippant voice tone implies a flight from Oregon to Texas is a minor undertaking, instead of a expensive and complicated event. Constructing space, I propelled mindy's duffel bag off my seaweed colored couch and flop down sitting by her, “Ha that’s because you guys enjoy withholding information … keeping secrets. Seeing You and Casey stroll through the living room ….“I didn’t know where I was”.

Mindy chuckles and ignores my dazed expression " Yeah,i had the trip planned since Jan. I kept telling everyone in Oregon .. I was going to visit you for your birthday as a surprise and then Casey concluded she wanted to come too! It fit perfect." "I did what?" Casey questions, she comes towards us and sits down. Her left hand lays limp, and classy, a fresh coat of clear nail polish accenting the sparkling engagement ring. . . I stare at her ring and a thought formulates, "So Casey was Wes worth the wait...? " She Gushes,YYesss unfazed by my loaded question.

This is friendship.. joy.. contentment I have missed them. These Girls, who know me well.. who aren't shocked by my many questions... have come to see me. I feel loved. Yet, God required loneliness and waiting before they showed up in my living room today.. why? He could have articulated " Ashley your best friends will be visiting you, and your 24Th birthday will be splendid.. don't worry" instead i was found wanting and void of Texas friendships. God could have stated " Casey, I have this boy named Wes for you and although you will be alone for a season, at the perfect time you will fall in love." But God gave neither.. he handed us harsh silence...he gave us a surprise.

My Wesley, loves me... he gives me gifts.. he talks to me.. even the way he holds my hand.. shows how perfect we are together.. Casey continues. Mindy and i cant keep our laughter from esacpting, who grabbed our logical friend and replaced her with this romantic girl? "We're glad your happy" Mindy chirps, leaning against the pillow.

Here lets see how this looks on you.. I feel Casey place something cold in my hand, her engagement ring. "Its beautiful", I whisper. I'm holding a mans love for his future bride, sitting by my God given friendships and realizing how God's love is The Best Surprise... Yes trusting.. might be..worth my time... slipping Casey's ring on.. I watch it shine.

What area's of your life are you trusting God in? Maybe wondering why God wont tell you what the next bend in your road is? Its because he wants to surprise you! God shows his love by surprising trust him and enjoy the adventure..
Isaiah:63:7 I will mention the lovingkindness of the Lord And the praises of the Lord, According to all the Lord has bestowed on us, And the goodness toward the house of Israel, Which He has bestowed on them according to His mercies, According to the multitude of his lovingkindness.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Life Consultant :Preparing

My sister was-is THE FASHION CONSULTANT, however, her critique in the past, has caused friction between us . I, having no sense of color coordination would stubbornly fight Jordan on the ethics of fashion wear... Why should it matter what people wore? God values our heart as his mirror not the clothes we put on. She would counter act my questions by stating an out fit is a mirror! It shows how someone thinks and if they are going to a rodeo or attending a concert.

I disagreed with Jordan until her opinion began to have life merit. Forgetting my gym clothes one day, my teacher required me to run in pants and a long sleeve shirt. I felt silly. If I had " assessed myself" I have pants and a long sleeve shirt on, I would have realized it was scorching hot out side. If I had realized where I "was heading" ,PE, I might have remembered my uniform... my Dress should have proceed my environment, instead it hindered .

Now, concentrating on the mirror in font of me, I invite Jordan to asses my clothes. "Nice choice. I like that out fit" . I'm elated by her words. They are spoken thoughts I crave for God to pronounce over me as he critiques my Dream preparation's... taking classes, meeting new people, letting go of the old and buying the new...

Otherwise Ill judge my self and notice that I've been running in scorching 100 degree weather, wearing jeans,a long sleeve shirt, and my LIFE CONSULTANT,God, has amusingly pronounced I wonder what clothes ASHLEY has on now

We cant skip the process part. There are no short cuts. What area in your life do you expect God to perform but you haven't prepared for the promise he has given you? Its a new day! Workout, take classes, meet new people.. you never know where he will take you! Matthew 9:17 Nor do the put new wine into old wine skins, or else the wine skins break, the wine is spilled and the wine skins are ruined. But they put new wine into new wine skins, and both are preserved

Monday, May 4, 2009

The game:selfish

I want to disappear from her scolding " Ashley you trample up and down that soccer field, glancing at the sky or fixing your bangs. I doubt you know where the ball is located since your paying more attention to Dad and I, then to your own soccer game." mom's ridged body is radiating frustration but she maintains a relaxing smile for me. " i know you have talent.. why wont you use it? "

Should I tell a lie or tell her the truth? " I'm scared".. I whisper, judging that my mom will detect any lie i voice. " i mean.. what if i kick the soccer ball and i miss or an opposing team player steals it from me?" her arm glues it self around my shoulder, allowing me to feel comfort. " Well then at least you played the game... you didn't let it play on without you." i sigh..

moms encouraging speech ends abruptly , the coach throws his arms up like a windmill station and beckons me to join my teammates on our soccer field, as God whispers.. Ashley forget about your opposing team and stop questioning if your an effective runner or not. ... Play the game. I concur with my heavenly father, taking one step away from selfish insecurities... and one step toward my teammates and His game... the game God calls us to participate in.

A selfish person " tries" a surrendered person " does". What game/ area of your life are you being selfish in and letting insecurities, opposition, fear keep you from playing? To win this game we need you..we need everyone